


The Day of Enlightenment

by captainamergirl



Category: Guiding Light
Genre: Character Study, Drabble Collection, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 07:45:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15019940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamergirl/pseuds/captainamergirl
Summary: Cassie... trying to find her way? Or simply, running away?A drabble series.





	1. The Day of Enlightenment

**Author's Note:**

> A Cassie-centric drabble series. Enjoy!

** 1: The Day of Enlightenment **   
  
The day she realized that she had to leave - that she had to pack up her life and disappear for awhile - was the day she realized he was beginning to feel more for her than he should. The same day she realized she was beginning to feel more for him than she should.    
  
She had been through too many disastrous relationships to start another - no matter how tempting the man and no matter how sweet his accent sounded when he was whispering naughty things in her ear …   
  
No, it had been time to go. She had done it for her son, so she said, but she had also wanted to selfishly guard her heart because she knew she could fall in love again and that was a dangerous thing.   
  
So one day, she had packed up the majority of her and her son’s worldly goods and the day after, they had left Springfield, Illinois.  _Just for awhile,_ she told people, but she really meant,  _probably forever …_


	2. Safe in My Delusions

** 2: Safe in My Delusions **   
  
“This is nice huh?” She said, trying to draw him into conversation. “You can see everything from up here.” They were flying over the ocean and could see the glistening, sparkling, aquamarine waters below.    
  
Shrugging, he continued looking out the airplane window in disinterest, his mouth turned down in a frown. He was too young to look so sad. He had been through so much and she blamed herself for all of it. It was a weight on her chest, pressing down hard and constricting her ability to breathe.   
  
She wished he would just talk to her - even if he yelled at her, she could accept that. But seeing him so miserable was breaking her heart. She had convinced herself that this move was the best thing for RJ, but now she wasn’t so sure.   
  
Still, as far as she was concerned, there was no going back. She had torched her bridges in Springfield, left nothing behind but ashes and regrets … It had been time to go. She was sure her son would be excited once they touched ground and he could see the ocean up close and build sandcastles all year round.    
  
Everything would be fine.   
  
She felt safe in her delusions.


	3. Guarding My Heart

** 3: Guarding My Heart **   
  
They touched down in Hawaii, gathered their bags at the claim, walked out and hailed a taxi. She saw her son's eyes go wide at the sight of the ocean just speeding by past their window. It seemed close enough to reach out and touch. Touch the beauty of it and feel the warmth on your fingertips, filling up your soul for a moment. She thinks she definitely did the right thing...   
  
Until later anyway - when they reach the hotel they will be staying in until they find a house and he holes up in his part of the suite, plays handheld video games, and refuses to come down to the restaurant for dinner. She sighs and says she wishes he would yell at her, at least get it out of his system but he ignores her.   
  
She thinks she did this for him; couldn't he see that she was protecting him? That she could have easily fallen for the accented man back in Springfield (she refuses to call it home now) and then they all would have eventually been back in the same boat: RJ without another father figure because she knew the accented conman wouldn't have stuck around forever. They never did...   
  
But if she was truly honest with herself she would see that her decision was in part truly selfish because she was protecting herself, her heart, guarding it from more pain. She wishes she was a stronger woman, more plucky and resilient but she has never been like her sister. She would never get over her daughter's death, or losing her youngest son to a youth detention facility, or losing both the loves of her life. She could never forget or run from her failures. Not even here in Hawaii, her idea of the most beautiful place in the world.    
  
Self-protection is all she has left to cling to.


End file.
